Thanks to the wonder that is the internet (and the surge of cheap airfare), otherwise impossible destinations are now at the tip of our fingers. A trip to Europe is just as achievable as a hop over to Thailand these days, and it’s easy to put together an itinerary thanks to the number of friends and family who have been there.
But because you booked that flight on a whim and spent too much on that hiking backpack that will fit everything you need for the trip, you can look forward to staying at a hostel that, at least, comes highly recommended.
Spoiler Alert: You’ll meet a lot of different kinds of people there. Some of them wonderful, most of them absolutely annoying.
Stereotypes are horrible, you cry. They’re unfair generalizations that demean and restrict a human being into a pidgeonhole for the sake of convenience!
Easy on the coffee, Spazzy McGeek. As unfair as some generalizations may be, there are certain ones that keep society in order and, when on the road, could save your trip from certain doom. But hey, at least you’ll have loads of interesting stories to tell when you get home!
1. The Alcoholics
Loud, usually from a first world country, and on the apparent agenda to ingest as much of the local liquor as humanly possible. They travel in packs, and are also usually a strange fraternity douchebro hybrid. Although they’re always willing to buy you a drink, their company is a headache, mostly thanks to their tendency to get into fights with the locals.
2. The Honorary Local
This person has been at the location for so long that they’ve started to speak the dialect without an accent and know everyone who works on the hostel’s street. While great at first, will inevitably shove their opinions about food and sights down your throat because “they know best.”
3. The Playboys
Cute, but only if you’re lucky. These guys usually travel alone and are fun for a drunk dance at 5 in the morning, but won’t take no for an answer. Don’t forget to keep your mace on your bedside, and to keep your door locked.
4. The Veterans
You can tell these guys have been on the road for too long. Mostly because their packs are about half of yours and they never seem fazed by anything. As mysterious as they may seem, avoid them if you don’t want to have your ear talked off for the better part of your stay.
5. The Creepy Old Dude
You don’t know what they’re doing staying at a hostel, and you don’t know why they hang around a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings pretending they aren’t aware of the age difference. If you find one attached to you or your group, make sure you have the local emergency number on your phone, just in case they party too hard.
6. The Cooler-Than-Thou’s
As pleasant as these people seem, they always seem to be having way more fun than you ever could. You don’t need that petty high school vibe on your trip.
7. The Loner
Handsome, mysterious, and infinitely interesting when you get to talk to them, this guy (or girl) has a way of disappearing the minute plans are made, or flaking at the last minute. Maybe they just really like their alone time? Or maybe you imagined them?
8. The Overachiever
Their packs are about double their torso, and they’re under the delusion that they can accomplish a week’s activities in two days. They have way more energy than any normal human being should, and have the tendency to cling to you like saran wrap.
9. The Couple
These people make you painfully aware of how single you are, or manage to highlight all of the problems you have with your significant other if you’re travelling together. They function flawlessly as a unit (when they actually leave their room), and seem to be attached at the hip. They eat clean, manage to travel with toddlers, and are unbelievably cool for their age. Um, no thank you.
10. The Beautiful European
The absolute headturner you’ve had an eye on since you arrived. You aren’t sure how long they’ve been there or how long they plan to stay, because every time you’re in the common rooms together your tongue turns into a puddle of goo and you blush through your sunburn. On the day you finally work up the courage to profess your undying devotion, they’ve already left.
Which one’s your favorite?